nationalreview.com

 

Last week at the White House's annual Easter Roll celebration, President Trump and first lady kicked off the Easter festivities. However, in a much more interesting feat, Mr President attempted to assemble his first full articulate sentence since he entered office January of this year. Crowds gathered in anticipation as he tried to collect his words in an order that made grammatical sense. Close, but no cigar.

His wife Melania spoke to his attempt. "I am very proud of my husband's achievements! Just like I am proud of our great country. But c'mon, I learned English in a few years. He needs to get his sh*t together" She later reported with enthusiasm that Mr President has been practicing with son, Barron, age 11, and is now able to read at a 5th grade level. 

"SPEAK ENGLISH OR GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY" screamed an angry neo-nazi and former trump supporter. "I voted for him because he is a fascist who obviously hates brown people but I can't take how stupid he is anymore"

While no full sentences were formulated, Mr. President was able to successfully include many target words and sound bites. The word he used most was probably "freedom" provided we exclude "ah" "umm" and "uh" the tally count of each which trumped all other words: a whopping 100 "umm"'s per minute. 

News-A-GoGo is watching the President carefully and as soon as he successfully forms a full sentence, our readers will be the first to know. 

 
 
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AuthorAutumn Mortali